Gabrielle Taylor's "Cockluck"
January 24, 2002
"Hi Fort, it's me..."
"...?"
"Oh I'm sorry, I always forget the time difference. I usually just, you know, type to people in other countries. Not phone."
"..."
"I was worried. I know you're nowhere near New York or DC but... I miss you so much. I like that shirt. When are you coming home?"
"..."
"Oh come on! Seriously? He made you be three months late already!"
"...!"
"But that's longer than the whole movie was supposed to take!"
"..."
"What?"
"..."
"But... why shouldn't I call?"
"..."
"But you're just making a movie! How can there suddenly be a security risk in you talking to the phone to someone in Canada?"
"...?"
"I guess."
"..."
"So you really don't know when you're coming home? Not next week though."
"..."
"Yeah, I know. Planes are grounded all over. Newfoundland is really packed. I don't know what they're all going to eat."
"...?"
"It's not like anyone's going to attack Ottawa, you know, but I'm still upset. Which is the idea I guess."
"...?"
"I don't know. Partly I feel like they got what was coming to them."
"..."
"Yes, I know--"
"..."
"I don't mean even stockbrokers should be turned into plane-concrete sandwiches. I mean that when you fool with as many things as their government fools with that eventually one of them's going to fool back. I don't know. I'm sympathetic but I don't understand how they can be so amazed."
"...?"
"Bourque said the Palestinians said they did it, then they said they didn't do it, but now everybody pretty much figures Osama bin Laden."
"...?"
"He tried to blow up the Trade Center a few years ago."
"...?"
"Yeah, exactly."
"...?"
"I would be a lot more upset if I was alone. Since you're going to be gone so long Auntie might as well stay in your room."
"...?"
"Auntie Dynamite."
"I hired Bertram to find her."
"...?"
"Maybe I'm having one of those quarterlife crises."
"...?"
"A monastery near Quebec City."
"...?"
"No idea."
"...?"
"Today, actually. Bertram found her yesterday and I drove up today. I must have left about an hour before the planes crashed. Missed most of the teevee eroticizing it. I was going to put her in your room, but she's asleep on the living room futon right now. Went to sleep in her clothes. She said they didn't have cable in the monastery and she wanted to watch Letterman. Not that he was on. I had almost forgotten about what happened this morning until I turned on the television and the planes were crashing. The Pentagon is still burning."
"...?"
"A little, but it's better than being alone right now."
"...?"
"Probably. The media was saying just this year that Canada's a big terrorist hotspot. The government says we didn't have anything to do with it but I have trouble believing anything Chretien says since I saw the four lane highway to Shawinigan last year."
"..."
"I don't know. I could be dead. You could be dead. What difference does it make?"
"..."
"Well, exactly."
"..."
"Do you think you'll have to stop production?"
"..."
"Right... How long will that take?"
"..."
"But... why won't they let you come home while the script's being revised?"
"..."
"They won't be grounded forever. I imagine coming up with a non-terrorist villain will involve quite a bit of script surgery -- maybe they'd let you just for a weekend? I haven't seen you since June!"
"...?"
"Would I have net access?"
"..."
"It's not like I have to be here to get the work, but I do have to be able to get it and turn it around in the time I'm contracted, that's why. I'm perfectly capable of logging off otherwise."
"..."
"Yes, but they can't keep the planes grounded indefinitely, and then the airfares will be really cheap because everyone will be afraid to fly, so I could get a really good deal. Maybe tool around Europe after I see you."
"..."
"If you're still waiting for the script."
"..."
"True, but I wasn't about to say that."
"...?"
"Because you enjoy your work, even if the scripts are lousy, and I'm happy you're happy, because I love you. Silly."
"..."
"I miss you too. Did they get you a new assistant yet?"
"..."
"Can hardly be worse than the last one. When's the court date?"
"..."
"You are getting everything back after the trial?"
"..."
"I should hope so. It's not like you can replace the watch. Well, I suppose I could get another, but--"
"...?"
"You did. You said the watch I gave you for your birthday last year, your wallet, some of the cameras, and then they caught him in Willa's trailer."
"...?"
"Well you must have, how else would I know?"
"..."
"Maybe. I haven't decided yet. There's a new Leonard Cohen album out before her birthday, does your sister like Leonard Cohen?"
"..."
"He is not chick music. You like him."
"..."
"Well, I'll think of something. If I go visit you before then we can pick out something together, although I imagine it'd have to be pretty innocuous to get through customs now. I'll have to get my passport renewed and then they'll want to know why I'm going to Casablanca with a stiffly fresh passport."
"..."
"Anyway, I should let you go back to sleep. I'm sorry I woke you up, sweetheart."
"..."
"I love you too. Talk to you soon. Good night."